I run a DnD game for my family, and we play with teens so we keep it PG. However we decided to play a horror RPG recently and we had multiple session zeros and I repeated asked if anything would bother them. I already said there would be no rape, no abuse of kids or animals, only abuse towards crazy monsters or possessed humans, but there would be violence and gore. I asked privately if they had anything they didn’t want to have happen and everyone was ok. It helped that the teens watch horror movies now. lol.
Most of what you are saying here seems good, but a lot of it is about having a conversation, getting on the same page and understanding each other's position. I think safety tools also have a role in managing content that a player doesn't want to have a conversation about, or which might be unusually, unexpectedly, even 'unreasonably' (to others that don't have the same history) upsetting for them. That's where Lines, X-cards and Open Door can be really useful.
Oh for sure! I definitely think that all tables should still set down a list of content they don't want to see at the table, that practice has a very strong place at every table! I just think it can only go so far.
And also, one of the things I like about the Script Change language is that it serves the exact function of lines, veils, and the X-card. "Rewind" serves the function of lines, "Fast-forward" serves the function of veils, and "Pause" serves the function of the "X-card." I think I personally prefer "natural language" tools that don't need explaining. Even non-gamers understand what "pausing" a problematic conversation means without needing to learn a new tool.
But I also have an opinion that many don't share, which is that I think things should be negotiated explicitly, as opposed to covertly. One thing I've never liked about the X-card is that most guidance presents the x-card as something that can be invoked discreetly, which I find problematic. For example, here's one description: "If anything makes anyone uncomfortable in any way… [ draw X on an index card ] …just lift this card up, or simply tap it." I think having systems like causes more opportunities for misunderstanding and bad navigation than simply going "Hey, can we pause or rewind? I don't like this." It's harder to do, but it's often hard to do anything deeply good and worthwhile!
Yeah, I think you are talking more about collaboration tools than safety tools. The word 'triggered' gets used a lot, but when people are triggered, they can be highly emotional, not especially communicative and really caught up in their memory of something past. It's a lot to ask someone to have a considered discussion at that point, and very awkward and uncomfortable for the people at the table as well.
A friend of mine saw someone drown once. Watching from the cliff above, there was nothing she could do. I have seen her memory of that get triggered, and it's not good. She just wants to move on, get away from that train of thought before she gets lost in it, and I am looking for anything to change the subject. Similarly, I saw a horrific car accident as a teen, and a GM triggered that memory one time and I burst into tears. There were no safety tools in place, and the GM had no idea what to do. I eventually stopped crying and told the GM about the accident that had upset me, and then they were distressed, because now they had all these disturbing images in their head. There are times when it's good to to talk about things, and there are times when it just isn't. And no one wants you to either. Just X, No, Stop.
Yes, it damages the flow of the game, but it's because something terrible happened at some point. The point of safety tools is that the person is more important than the game.
I run a DnD game for my family, and we play with teens so we keep it PG. However we decided to play a horror RPG recently and we had multiple session zeros and I repeated asked if anything would bother them. I already said there would be no rape, no abuse of kids or animals, only abuse towards crazy monsters or possessed humans, but there would be violence and gore. I asked privately if they had anything they didn’t want to have happen and everyone was ok. It helped that the teens watch horror movies now. lol.
Most of what you are saying here seems good, but a lot of it is about having a conversation, getting on the same page and understanding each other's position. I think safety tools also have a role in managing content that a player doesn't want to have a conversation about, or which might be unusually, unexpectedly, even 'unreasonably' (to others that don't have the same history) upsetting for them. That's where Lines, X-cards and Open Door can be really useful.
Oh for sure! I definitely think that all tables should still set down a list of content they don't want to see at the table, that practice has a very strong place at every table! I just think it can only go so far.
And also, one of the things I like about the Script Change language is that it serves the exact function of lines, veils, and the X-card. "Rewind" serves the function of lines, "Fast-forward" serves the function of veils, and "Pause" serves the function of the "X-card." I think I personally prefer "natural language" tools that don't need explaining. Even non-gamers understand what "pausing" a problematic conversation means without needing to learn a new tool.
But I also have an opinion that many don't share, which is that I think things should be negotiated explicitly, as opposed to covertly. One thing I've never liked about the X-card is that most guidance presents the x-card as something that can be invoked discreetly, which I find problematic. For example, here's one description: "If anything makes anyone uncomfortable in any way… [ draw X on an index card ] …just lift this card up, or simply tap it." I think having systems like causes more opportunities for misunderstanding and bad navigation than simply going "Hey, can we pause or rewind? I don't like this." It's harder to do, but it's often hard to do anything deeply good and worthwhile!
Yeah, I think you are talking more about collaboration tools than safety tools. The word 'triggered' gets used a lot, but when people are triggered, they can be highly emotional, not especially communicative and really caught up in their memory of something past. It's a lot to ask someone to have a considered discussion at that point, and very awkward and uncomfortable for the people at the table as well.
A friend of mine saw someone drown once. Watching from the cliff above, there was nothing she could do. I have seen her memory of that get triggered, and it's not good. She just wants to move on, get away from that train of thought before she gets lost in it, and I am looking for anything to change the subject. Similarly, I saw a horrific car accident as a teen, and a GM triggered that memory one time and I burst into tears. There were no safety tools in place, and the GM had no idea what to do. I eventually stopped crying and told the GM about the accident that had upset me, and then they were distressed, because now they had all these disturbing images in their head. There are times when it's good to to talk about things, and there are times when it just isn't. And no one wants you to either. Just X, No, Stop.
Yes, it damages the flow of the game, but it's because something terrible happened at some point. The point of safety tools is that the person is more important than the game.